im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
