Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Randomize