Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize