I hope mine doesn't look like that
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
