I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
