I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
