I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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