i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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