I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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