i think i have herpe
just one?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
