I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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