I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
