So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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