Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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