I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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