come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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