Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
