Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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