I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
