I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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