I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
