Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
