just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
