WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I would ride that face into the sunset
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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