haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
