4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize