Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
