There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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