There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize