Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
