Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The convent might be a nice break from real life
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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