can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
