she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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