i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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