why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
