My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
