His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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