We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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