he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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