Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
