Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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