Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
