Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Randomize
