Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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