i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
