I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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