...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
