If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
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