People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize