I just pynch a tree in the face
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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