I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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