I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
