This house was built for laser tag.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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