He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
