If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
