but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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