So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
