but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
