i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
