He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
