Jerry, you need to find god
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
