I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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