After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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