I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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