So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
