there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
