I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize