sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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