Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
