Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
