Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
