Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
