What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
