We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
